A PRAYER FOR MY STILLBORN DAUGHTER
Mason Lamar
I imagined again the unlit room with white walls
and how God must have touched her
and I imagined the truss of her unwired limbs
and how He said it was okay
and the color He might have given her
and the breath He might have blown through her
before scraping out the rot
and sewing away the holes.
I do not believe in God
but He gave me a choice nonetheless.
He said I could look at her once
for a moment of eternity,
there in her perfection
as she was never meant to be.
I did as much as touch the door
to the unlit room with white walls.
Then I turned from that place
that held God and my daughter
and I made my way back into the world.